i hate this blog.

yeah, i do. which is why i pretty much dont write in it, ever.
i hate it so much because of the way i am.
i have a tendency not to fully complete my thoughts,
or write them all down fully, so each post just ends up with a couple random sentences that make no sense at all and just make me sound like a ponce.

i swear though, im not a ponce.
it's just my brain's inability to put everything into words.
i'm working on fixing it, because it's making my life really difficult and frustrating. i dont think i'm ever really clear with anyone about what im thinking.


so starting today, no more stupid posts about stupid things that make no sense.

you know, im feeling really cynical.
and i just think, "what is even the point of this thing?" because like, nobody reads it. and i just feel like im writing to myself. it makes me feel weird.

see, and no more of that either.
no more feeling cynical.

i hate it that people have this image of me that is totally incorrect. im not depressed, at all. im not sad all the time. in fact, im really, really happy. im happy to the point where it's scary. i shouldnt feel this happy in the situation im in. so maybe there is something wrong with me in that im TOO happy all the time.

hm okay. so i think all my stupid old posts will be deleted, and i'll just start over, posting fun things and happy things and whatnot.