my mood is a skyscraper-

-a skyscraper that was just blown out of the fucking skyline.

....that may have been an inappropriate simile.


But last night, I felt so good. And now, I've only got an hour of sleep under my belt, I'm shaky because of a mixture of lack of sleep, anti-migraine medication, caffeine, and general pissed-off-ness.

So here's the story:

Last week my parents decided "we" were going for a hike through the Olympic Rain Forest (because apparently there is one?). Now, let me stress that for the most part, I do enjoy hanging out with my parents. I'm not the kind of person that's ashamed to admit that. They are (for the most part) good parents, fun people, and I do love them.

HOWEVER, there is such a thing as SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH MY FATHER. He is the one person in my life that can literally ruin my entire day in about .5 seconds. When I see him, I cringe, because I know eventually, he will fucking say something JUST to fight with me. The man loves to fucking fight.

My mom just had carpal tunnel surgery, so my dad has been running things. Which means for the last two weeks, he has been in my face literally 24/7.

SO, I should not have agreed to go hiking in the first place, because I did not really want to. If I know my dad, hiking is one of those activities that can instantly turn into the fight of the century.


Turns out, he was ready to fight before even stepping one foot out the front door.


So mom wakes me up at 9, and I've only been asleep since around 8:15. I mumble something about not really wanting to go. She leaves, 10 minutes later my dad comes in, talking about how many photographs i'll be able to get, future career, etc etc.
He doesnt seem to understand the fact that I DO NOT WANT TO GO. I AM NOT GOING. Under no circumstances do I want to go.

So then, the first thing he does, naturally, is slam my door a couple times, and start yelling about how "I always get what I want, I'm spoiled, blah blah". Says the man who randomly bought me a new iPod last week, FOR NO REASON. I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT. I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANYTHING. I NEVER ask for anything. I am PERFECTLY content with all the things I have. He literally came home and handed me an iPod. So how the fuck is that MY fucking problem?



So the next thing he does, when I try and tell him that I do not want to go, is take my laptop and cellphone away. Right, fine. I can read books instead. Then he starts yelling about how all I do is sit around.

I think these are the times I hate him the most. I cant help but resent him. He brought me here. He brought me to this fucking town, and expects me to be okay with it.I AM NOT okay with it. At all. I dont care about the people here. I dont have the emotional capacity make a million new friends, when I'm just leaving in a year anyway. I cant do it again, it's too soon. My entire life is literally made up of "single serving friends".

There is not even a mall in this fucking town. I'm not messing around, im not exaggerating. THERE IS NOTHING HERE. So what the FUCK does he expect me to be fucking doing all day? I go to college, I come home. I have no other choices.

At this point, I make a remark about how I could be out smoking crack until 4AM, but I don't. Most of the time I just hang out with my parents.


He slams my door a few more times, and I just lay there, astonished by the fact that not wanting to go hiking is suddenly the worst possible thing I could ever do.

He acted like I was ungrateful for all the things my parents have given me. He acted like I was some awful horrible person that just demands things and gives no thanks in return. He acted like this disinterest in hiking is abnormal for me. When have I ever enjoyed hiking? Maybe I would enjoy it a lot more, if he were not involved. I swear to god, this man has known me for 17 years, and STILL does not know me, at all.


The only thing I have ever asked for, really asked for, was this laptop. The other shit, the cellphone, the video games, the iPod...I didn't need any of that. I didn't ask for it. They got me those things because they wanted to, not because I begged them.


The man simply does not see reason. He's like the Incredible fucking Hulk.

Yeah, and I'm literally shaking now, because I've had nothing to eat, under an hour of sleep, and I'm on medication that lowers my heart rate. I wont be able to sleep now. I could really use some food though.